Demonstrating Strength

Apologize

Defer to others

Avoid shortcuts

Tell the truth

Offer kindness

Seek alliances

Volunteer to take the short straw

Choose the long-term, sacrificing the short

Demonstrate respect to all, not just the obviously strong

Share credit and be public in your gratitude

Risking the appearance of weakness takes strength. And the market knows it.

- Seth Godin

Are You Responsible For What You Market?

from Seth Godin's Blog

Let's assert that marketing works.

The money and time and effort we put into marketing goods and services actually works. It gets people to change their minds. It cajoles some people into buying and using and voting for things that they otherwise wouldn't have chosen. (If it doesn't work, save your money).

If it works, then, are you responsible for what happens after that?

If you market cigarettes aggressively, are you responsible for people dying of lung cancer?

I think there are two ways to go here:

1. You're not responsible. The marketer is like a lawyer representing the obviously guilty client. Everyone is entitled to a lawyer, and it's up to the jury to decide. The lawyer's job is to do the best she can, not to decide on the outcome. Market the best you can and let buyers take responsibility.

2. You are responsible. Your insight and effort cause people to change, and without you, that change would never happen.

I'm not sure there's a middle ground. Either we should applaud the folks lobbying on behalf of causes we despise, the pornographers selling products that degrade our society and the politicians spinning and lying to get elected (because all these people are doing is giving us a choice for which we're responsible) or we should take responsibility for stuff we sell.

My take: if you're not proud of it, don't sell it.

Cute kitty in the middle of the road. Alive.

 Washed my brushes. Makeshift drying using elastics. Best to dry them upside down so water doesn't collect at the base and mould.

 Such soft bunny buddies at Chapters. Hao!

Bye Jerry! 

 Taken in the saddest spot in Vancouver... YVR departures...

Grar I hate how I can't edit these pictures on the netbook. Dull pics..

Some Words (of Wisdom)

Seth Godin

EXPLORATION AND THE RISK OF FAILURE

People seem to be in one of two categories:

Those who seek stability, affiliation, work worth doing and the assurance it (whatever it is) will be okay.

Those who explore, need to know that failure is an option and quest to make a dent in the universe.

You can be in either category, the world needs and rewards both. But pick a brand and a job and a posture that matches your category, or you'll fail, and be miserable until you do.


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FOUNDATION ELEMENTS FOR MODERN BUSINESSES

When you sit down to dream up a new business, you can imagine a world without constraints. Or you can choose to build in fundamental pieces that will make it more likely your idea will pay off.

Here are some fundamental pieces of most new successful businesses. The goal is to build these elements into the very nature of the business itself, not just to tack them on. For example, the Scotch tape people at 3M can't do #5, because of the structure of retail distribution and the way they mass produce and can't track who is buying what.

You can live without some of these, but go in with your eyes open if you do:

Build in virality. Consider: Groupon.

Don't sell a product that can be purchased cheaper at Amazon.

Subscriptions beat one-off sales.

Try to create an environment where your customers are happier when there are other customers doing business with you (see #1).

Treat different customers differently.

Generate joy, don't just satisfy a need for a commodity.

Rely on unique individuals, not an easily copyable system.

Plan on remarkable experiences, not remarkable ads.

Don't build a fortress of secrets, bet on open.

Unless there's a differentiating business reason, use off the shelf software and cheap cloud storage.

The asset of the future is the embrace of a tribe, not a cheaper widget.

Match expenses to cash flow--don't run out of money, because it's no longer 1999.

Create scarcity but act with abundance. Free samples create demand for the valuable (but not unlimited) tier you offer.

Tell a story, erect a mythology, walk the walk.

Plan on obsolescence (of your products, not your customers).

Aha!

(From Seth Godin)

A small island grows sugar cane. Many people harvest it, and one guy owns the machine that can process the cane and turn it into juice.

Who wins?

The guy with the machine, of course. It gives him leverage, and since he's the only one, he can pay the pickers whatever he likes--people will either sell it to him or stop picking. No fun being the cane picker. He can also charge whatever he likes to the people who need the cane juice, because without him, there's no juice. No fun being a baker or cook.

But now, a second machine comes to the island, and then three more. There are five processors.

Who wins?

Certainly not the guy with the first machine. He has competitors for the cane. He can optimize and work on efficiency, but pretty soon he's going to be in a price war for his raw materials (and a price war for the finished product.) Not so much fun to be the factory owner.

And then! And then one cane processor starts creating a series of collectible containers, starts interacting with his customers and providing them with custom blends, starts offering long-term contracts and benefits to his biggest customers, and yes, even begins to pay his growers more if they're willing to bring him particularly sweet and organic materials, on time. In short, he becomes a master of the art of processing and marketing cane. He earns permission, he treats different customers differently and he refuses to act like a faceless factory...

Who are you?

A Car Is Not Merely a Faster Horse...

And email is not a faster fax. And online project management is not a bigger whiteboard. And Facebook is not an electronic rolodex.

Play a new game, not the older game but faster.


(Something to think about from Seth Godin's blog)

Assertiveness

This is a light, summer song to go with the perfect summer weather we've been getting (except it started raining a few hours ago)... 

As One - Sonnet

Saw this on Lovelyish and thought it was a great post. I love seeing a strong, assertive person - someone who isn't afraid to speak up, someone who doesn't get stepped all over, someone who gets the respect they deserve. As I look back, I could see myself becoming more and more assertive (I've had other ppl notice and tell me too - I guess it comes with experience and confidence) all throughout high school. In elementary school, I wouldn't say I was one to get stepped on, but I would say "sorry" out of habit even when I wasn't the one at fault, I would speak with a quieter voice, I would say "thank you" often just because I was taught that it's polite (now, I actually mean it when I say it), I would agree with what everyone said, and I would have a hard time saying "no", though it didn't bother me to do whatever it was. Lots of things would just slide past me and before, I didn't care if it wasn't what I would wished to have happened.  Now, I can say that I get what I want and it's by using the following tips below (which I wasn't fortunate enough to have listed out back in elementary/high school). I'm not talking about getting material things (though, sometimes it is the result.. "uh... uh... um... sir........ s-s-sorry, but can I, like, can I have, like.. a.. a hotdog...please?"), and I'm not saying that the person fulfilling the request is losing out on anything.. getting what you want is done in a polite, straight-forward manner and you know what, it's a good thing for everyone cause, well, it reduces complainers and makes the world a better, happier place.  It's to do with the type of treatment I receive from everyone - it's on a different level. When I ask/request things, it is most likely not to be rejected and if it happens to be (very very rare if you use the tips below unless you're asking for something ridiculous), that's totally okay - at least I've tried... and maybe I'll find another way to approach it the next time.

1. Adopt body language that's more confident. Fake it until you make it!

• Keep your voice at a consistent volume when you speak, and don't let it waver.
• Make eye contact when you talk to people (also a great way to flirt!).
• Don't cross your arms across your chest; keep your pose open and confident.
• When you say a sentence, don't let the end creep up in tone (so it sounds like a question) [guhhh pet peeve]. End the statement firmly.
• Get rid of filler words in your speech, like "um," "you know?", "like." They make you sound nervous.
• Don't say "I'm sorry" when you don't need to apologize, like if someone bumps into YOU in the train.

2. Put your own needs first. It's not selfish, no matter what you might think! If you don't stand up for yourself and what you need, who will? Sometimes as women we feel like we have to apologize for wanting things a certain way or needing things from our significant others, but you should never feel like you have to apologize for things like wanting affection and respect.

When the time comes to ask for something, like a raise, or to confront a friend who's hurt you, take a deep breath and communicate what you want in one or two sentences: "I think that I deserve a raise, and let me tell you why." "What you said last night hurt my feelings and I'd like to talk about the issue further." [Communication is so important!! listen and if it doesn't work the first time, learn and try a different way next time.]

3. Realize why you tend to be a people-pleaser. When we operate from a place where we're already feeling low and inadequate, we bend over backwards to please others because of our need to keep the peace and thus avoid feeling rejection from others. If you don't stand up for yourself with your words, you're more likely to be passive-aggressive with your actions. Try to not be so afraid of others disagreeing with you or confronting you, and you'll feel much better able to do what's right for you.

4. "Assertive" is different than "aggressive." Aggressive people are hostile and pushy, and they bully others into meeting their needs exactly how and when they want them. Don't be like that! But also, don't worry that by standing up for yourself, you're being mean or belligerent. As long as you're polite and respectful of others, you can't fret that standing up for yourself is going to piss people off.

5. Be more positive! If you have a negative outlook of yourself, that's going to affect both your assertiveness level and how you view others, i.e., you'll assume that everyone is out to get you and make your life harder. Keep a smile on your face and others will see you a confident girl to be reckoned with, not a Debbie Downer.

Just A Thought

I'm trying to learn the difference - the fine line between when to support decisions made by friends (decisions that make them seemingly happy), and saying something when I feel it may not be the best thing for them. But, who am I to say? Yes, as a friend, I believe I have the right and duty, but at the same time, who doesn't want to see their friends content? And shouldn't I trust my friends because I know they are logical people and are very capable of making the right choices for themselves? After all, they're my friends (lol). This isn't about anything super important, but having heard "what?! You should have said something" or "you should have told me" more than a few times this past month, I'm starting to think I've got something ticking right in my head. Now, I believe it's best to say something because I care. They can take it or leave it, but at least I know I've taken a step to ensure happiness.. and I expect the same from my friends. hah. Expect.

How To Eat A Cupcake

Yea yea.. I'm currently kind of really obsessed with cupcakes which explains why this post is dedicated to such delicious mini-ness.

Instructions are from www.buzzfeed.com

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

Even though this cupcake looks like a gross manufactured kid-cupcake and even though it's not chocolate, I want to eat it.

How To Look Good in 2D

Celebrity photographer Josh Kessler has snapped portraits of Mischa Barton, Mandy Moore, Susan Lucci, Betsey Johnson, Tilda Swinton, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and the Jersey Shore cast, to name a few. He's also had his fair share of beauty experience, creating lookbooks for Nexxus salon haircare, sponsor of Bravo's popular hairstyling show, "Shear Genius." Kessler met with a few editors on the heels of the "Shear Genius" headshot challenge episode, offering up his expertise in snapping flattering portraits. Below, his tips shared with Marissa Gold of StyleList.
 
If you have a long face:
"The direction of the light can change the shape of a person's face. If the light is coming from above the camera, it will make the face appear fuller," suggests Kessler.

If you have a wide or round face:
"To slim out a rounder face, use light coming from the side and slightly above."

If you think you look heavy on camera:
"A wide angle lens will make a person appear heavier, and a telephoto lens will have a slimming effect," Kessler says. Telephoto it is!

If you want smooth-looking skin:
"The closer and larger the light source is, the softer and more flattering the light will be," says Kessler. And avoid red backgrounds: "Very few people look good on a red background -- it brings out the redness in skin."

If you have dark circles:
"Use the flash -- even in daylight. If you're shooting in mid-day sun from above, the flash will fill in under the eyes. Also, try using a white or silver reflector card to bounce light back to the face, removing any shadows under the eyes," says Kessler.

If you're on the pale side:
"A warming filter such as an 81A placed on the camera lens (or added later in Photoshop) will give any skin type a healthy glow."

If you want to shoot outdoors:
"Try shooting in the shade on sunny days, and embrace the beautiful soft light of an overcast day. The clouds diffuse the sun, making it a larger and softer light source," says Kessler. Another trick? "Shoot during the magic hour: either one hour after sunrise or one hour before sunset -- lighting is ideal then to give a gorgeous glow to your skin."

If you want to look natural:
Many times posing for photos, especially a portrait, can look forced and stiff. "The most important thing is to feel comfortable and relaxed," says Kessler. He suggests striking up a conversation with your photographer so that you have the same easygoing facial expressions you normally do, and feel at east in the situation.

And a few additional beauty and fashion tips from Kevin Mancuso, celebrity stylist and Nexxus Creative Director:

• Get a trim a week within a week of the shoot so your hair looks healthy.
• Make sure your roots are touched-up, as they can stick out in photos, even black and white.
• Drape hair in front of your shoulders to help elongate the face and make you look thinner -- tightly pulled-back hair can look harsh and unapproachable.
• Pick clothing that works with your hairstyle -- big collars will look busy if you wear your hair down, and low-cut shirts won't work well with an up-do. It's all about balance, so stick to a simple crew or v-neck.

Taken from Lovelyish